


[insert crazy frog lyrics]

by avosettas



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Dead God Tier Karkat and Kanaya, Doomed Timelines, F/F, F/M, Frog Breeding, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avosettas/pseuds/avosettas
Summary: “I hate these slimy fuckers.”“Aw, but they’re so cute!”“Yeah, and by interacting with them to make their slime, you’re fucking with their whole existence."“Actually, it’s more like making sure they never existed in the past, bro, but go off I guess."
Relationships: Kanaya Maryam/Karkat Vantas/Dave Strider/Jade Harley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2
Collections: Polyswap Presents 2020





	[insert crazy frog lyrics]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [misgivings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/misgivings/gifts).



> **Summary  
>  I love these four, especially their interactions during the frog breeding. Now twice the knights and twice the space. I want something with the same energy as that: some AU where they all play together and have to collaborate in person? Or maybe more metaphorical, with them going on a scavenger hunt or even a road trip. These four smooth over their rough edges because they have to get along, and find they all rather like one-another. It can be happy and cute or have some sadness - friendly machine gun fire optional.**
> 
> hm well. i ended up going off a bit and it's more pre-relationship than anything.

“I hate these slimy fuckers.” 

“Aw, but they’re so cute!” 

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you’re about to ruin Jade Harley’s day. Possibly again. You don’t know if your past, alternate timeline self already yelled at her today. But you know, things happen. 

“Yeah, and by interacting with them to make their slime, you’re fucking with their whole existence,” you say, stepping out from the thin, snowy woods that you and Kanaya have been hiding in.

“Actually, it’s more like making sure they never existed in the past, bro, but go off I guess.” Strider looks _incredibly_ stupid in his red suit, and his sunglasses make you want to punch him. 

“Whatever! I’m sure you’ll find some way to fuck it up anyway, what with your prowess - Mmph!” You’re interrupted by an impeccably manicured hand slapping over your mouth, and you bite it. Kanaya doesn’t flinch. 

“What Karkat is trying to say, is that we’re here to help,” and she grins with those long fangs of hers. 

~

Harley and Kanaya get along _great_ and she even gets along with Strider, which surprises you. She even compliments him on his red felt suit, which strikes you as a fashion faux-pas, but you _suppose_ Kanaya would know better than you about shit like that. 

Harley actually looks pretty… well, pretty. 

Her dress is black and glittery, with bright green borders on the top, at the waist, and the bottom of the skirt-part, the same color as her text. It’s strapless, a sort of outfit you’d only be able to imagine Kanaya wearing. Her _entire back_ back is showing, a deep amber expanse that must make her feel freezing in this cold - 

Not that you’re worried about one of the humans. Not at all. Kanaya is probably cold too, after all - her sylph’s outfit is sleeveless, but it does, at least, have a hood. It’s various shades of black, which Kanaya hates. Too monotone for her. 

And Strider is, of course, in his stupid bright red, felt suit. Barely any exposed skin, except the tan, freckled bits of his face beneath his shades. 

“Interacting with them must involve touching them in some way,” Kanaya is telling Strider and Harley. “Otherwise, I’m not certain it counts as a paradox.” 

“I think if you see them and they see you, probably counts as a paradox,” Strider replies. He’s holding a bright red frog that croaks indignantly every few seconds; the color makes you want to puke. 

Maybe that’s why you hate his stupid fucking suit so much. It’s the same color as the swill that you’re _so fucking lucky_ to call blood. 

“I just think they’re cute,” Harley says, and she’s suddenly very close to you, having escaped Kanaya and Strider’s… you wouldn’t call it arguing, not really, but it’s definitely sort of a heated discussion. “What’s wrong with your eyes? They look like -” 

“I’m fucking dead, Harley,” You interrupt bitterly. “This is what happens when you die. Your eyes go fucking white.” 

“I was going to say, I met a dead version of Feferi who had eyes like yours…” She looks at the sky thoughtfully. “I wasn’t sure if it was just a troll thing or not, though.” 

“It’s not a troll thing. Our eyes are yellow,” you grumble. Fucking humans and their weird fucking eyes. 

Harley’s are pretty and green, a bright shade similar to the borders of her sparkly dress. Maybe this is how humans hemotype. They go by eye color. 

“So, I have to... what, throw these poor frogs into the Forge?” Harley looks positively stricken at the idea, and you pity her. Almost. 

You _definitely_ do not feel pity for a human! 

“No, but when you breed your Genesis Tadpole, Echidna will hold it in the Forge to keep it safe,” Kanaya replies, releasing a blue frog she’d caught. “Are you alright, Karkat?”

“I’m fucking fine!” You snap. “Maybe me and Strider should leave you and Harley alone for some fun Space player quality time!” 

Kanaya rolls her eyes, you think - you can’t tell because, you know, fucking dead white eyes. Harley just shrugs. 

Strider’s released his red frog at some point; he’s holding an orange one now. “Sounds good to me,” he says. “Let’s go, dude.” 

~

“Eugh.” There’s frog slime all over your hands. 

“Yeah, man, this sucks,” Strider agrees, releasing a greenish frog. “What’s the objective here, exactly?” 

“We’re supposed to be catching frogs to make a DNA sequence for the Genesis Tadpole,” you grunt, wiping your hands on your pants. 

“The what?” 

“The Genesis Tadpole!” Harley calls from where she’s come into view. She and Kanaya are still doing… something? There are still frogs all around them, at least. 

“Yeah, I got that,” Strider says. “What is it, though?” 

“The Genesis Tadpole is essentially the beginning stages of the Ultimate Reward,” Kanaya replies. She’s shivering slightly, even with her hood up, so you - well, you don’t really know what to do, but you run warmer than her because of your mutant blood, so you just move close to her to block the wind and hope you’re close enough that the warmth hits her a bit. 

Harley is shivering too, but it’s one thing for you to show pity to your moirail, and another to show it to some random human. Also, her hive is _right there_. 

Strider solves the issue for you though - he gives her his stupid felt jacket, which still leaves him in a felt dress shirt. 

“So, we have to… get all these frogs to make a DNA sequence and clone a tadpole,” Strider repeats, sounding disbelieving. 

“Yes,” Kanaya agrees. “It’s an extremely delicate process. The Genesis Tadpole contains multitudes of universes, including all the doomed and alternate timelines.” 

“Like yours,” Harley says softly, moving to squeeze Kanaya’s hand. 

“Like ours,” Kanaya agrees softly. Louder, she says, “We believed it was a Space player and a Knight who needed to breed the frogs, but some accounts I’ve read actually say a Space player and a Time player… It’s very fortunate that you happen to be a Knight of Time, Dave.” 

“Yeah,” Strider says. “Karkat isn’t a Time player, though, so who helped with yours?” 

“Our timeline never made it so far.” 

“The alpha timeline fucked it up, though.” You snort. “Alpha me probably should have let Aradia help Kanaya.” 

“You did your best, Karkat.” 

“I gave their fucking universe _cancer_ , Kanaya,” you sigh, turning to bury your face in her hood. One of the humans pats your shoulder awkwardly and leaves their hand there. 

“Cancer?” Harley asks. 

“Your session is the way it is because of me.” You tell her, turning your head a bit. It’s Strider who has his hand on your shoulder - you can’t read his face. “Jack is only so powerful because I screwed up the frog breeding in the alpha timeline.” 

“I mean…” Strider looks like he’s trying to think of something to say. You hear snow crunching somewhere. Kanaya places a hand on your head comfortingly. “To be honest, we kinda thought it was just… like this.” 

“It’s not,” you grunt, turning your head back into Kanaya. Harley is suspiciously quiet. 

“I found it!” The three of you break out of your impromptu cuddle… thing to look towards Harley, who’s somehow moved about ten feet away. “The last frog!” 

“What?!” Kanaya shrieks. It’s the most undignified you’ve ever seen her, especially as she starts running through the snow to Harley.

“The last frog for our Genesis Tadpole!” Harley chirps as Kanaya reaches her. You stay where you are, rooted to the spot as the snow soaks through your stupid God Tier shoes.

“Huh,” Strider says from beside you. He’s removed his hand from your shoulder. “Maybe we’re meant to win this game after all.”


End file.
